Why Do Alzheimer's Caregivers Torture Themselves?

For several years, I tortured myself psychologically and emotionally. To this day I look back and ask myself, why?

By Bob DeMarco 
Alzheimer's Reading Room

Saint Genesius

Alzheimer's is a sinister disease. It robs the patient of the ability to remember, to think, and effects mood and behavior often in a negative way.

Alzheimer's disease (AD) eventually robs the patient of the ability to do things we take for granted -- like buttoning a button.

Alzheimer's often robs patients of the ability to say "yes", so instead they say what comes easiest -- No.

These new and often bizarre changes brought on by Alzheimer's can feel like torture to an Alzheimer's caregiver. This explains in part why a large fraction of caregivers, up to 40 percent, suffer from depression.

The other day I answered a question by saying, "its the job of Alzheimer's to torture you". Later on as I thought about those words, I was surprised that I used the word "torture". Surprised until I remembered that I once thought, "Alzheimer's is trying to kill me". Alzheimer's kills the brain of the person living with Alzheimer's. It will also try and kill the spirit of the Alzheimer's caregiver.

Continue reading, Why Do Alzheimer's Caregivers Torture Themselves?


Bob DeMarco is the editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver.